Have you ever wondered why you keep wanting a reading on how the other twin is feeling? Why you have that desperation? That need for some sliver of hope? Why you fall into such deep sadness and have to do something, anything to pull yourself out of it? Ever wondered what happens if you don’t give in to those feelings of desperation and need? What would happen if instead of reaching for something (like a reading) to dull the pain, you just stopped, right there, and sat with it?
I will tell you what happens. If you resist the urge to do something to take the pain away, to find something that replaces your pain with hope….if you don’t give in and do that, what happens, is you slide right down into the intense sadness and pain you are actually feeling inside. There is an enormous fear that if you let yourself really feel how hurt you are, you will need to give up all hope of being with this partner, and you can’t face that. I know….ouch.
How long has this cycle been going on for you? How long have you been refusing to just be still and let yourself feel the pain you have been trying desperately to avoid acknowledging and feeling?
How long have you been asking yourself the same question – how long this can go on? How long can he/she keep hurting you and not realise that the pain is destroying you? How long until they realise their truth and do things differently? How long until you move forward?

Empowering Yourself
Next time you go through those questions, put a mirror in front of your face as you ask them. Ask yourself those questions….how long can I go through this without realising how hurt I really am? How long until I start valuing myself and what is true for me? How long until I realise my own pain?
Once you do this, once you understand that you need to change as much as your partner does, you can then stop, take some deep breaths and consider how you can do things differently. No more being powerless and waiting for your partner to change. Twin flame or not, this is your life and you make your own choices. You can decide to do this better, with more honesty, more integrity and not simply react from the pain inside you. Empower yourself – you can do this differently.
No more perpetuating the same old hurtful cycle. It is up to you. It only takes one person to stop playing a game, and then the game has to stop. Take responsibility for your part in this situation and ask yourself – do you want to continue in an endless cycle of pain or do you want to move forward into a better life?
Let go of what that means for you and your twin. Let go. It is vital. You must let go of that because the fear of what is or is not ahead is what keeps you in the cycle of pain. I can’t say that enough – let go of expectations and simply decide it is time for positive change, regardless of what outcome that may bring. You must come to this point if you want to move out of the painful cycle you are stuck in.

Seeking Answers Within Yourself
The problem with twin flames is that they seek the answers outside of themselves. If you just stop and feel….stop and sit with what you are feeling deep down, you will realise that you are extremely hurt and that making the hurt end, is up to you, not your partner.
This does not mean the connection or relationship has to end. This means, you have to stop and feel. Recognize how hurt you are, think also about how hurt your partner is, and understand that if things are going to be different, you have to start that change. You have to do things differently.
Don’t get that next reading. Don’t have that next argument. Resist that urge to just say that one last hurtful thing. Understand that all this just keeps that hurtful ball rolling and the connection becomes so toxic that it is really difficult to put the past behind you and move into a better future.
Rather than arguing, have a calm, clear, honest conversation. If you aren’t on speaking terms, send a video or voice recording, it’s harder to misinterpret or misunderstand if you can see or hear the person speaking. Texts or emails are easily misinterpreted. Don’t say things you don’t mean. No threats, no anger. Be calm, be cool and above all be honest with your partner and true to yourself. If the truth is that you are so hurt that you don’t know if you can see a future with your partner, tell them that….but in the spirit of being fully honest and open, not intending to hurt them. Try to speak in a caring way.

Acceptance Is key
A counsellor told me once – write something once and then read it, write it a second time and read it, then write it a third time and send it. Same applies with video/voice recordings. If you are getting angry, don’t do this now. It won’t help and may make things worse.
How do you get past the anger? Take responsibility. Own the fact that you are as much responsible for where things are at as your partner is.
Recognise that chasing someone who is clearly not ready to give you what you want or need, has only made the situation worse. Twin flame partners love each other intensely and the healing required before these connections can move to the next level is enormous, it’s painful, it’s scary, and confronting. It takes time, years, not weeks or months. The bigger the issues, the more there is to heal, and the longer it takes.
Someone said to me recently that you can’t be angry at time for doing what time does…and it’s true. Time is time and things take as much time as they need to take. You can’t change that. If your partner isn’t ready, you will know that deep down you are not ready either. If you were truly ready, they would be too.
The pain you feel, the darkness you will encounter when you do stop, is your truth, your light and your way out. Hiding inside you are the big scary demons that you haven’t wanted to face or even acknowledge. The only way you can move forward is by connecting with yourself and feeling your own pain. Trust that your twin will go through the same process because that is what your connection is, shared energy and common experiences.

All you can do is stop, be aware of what you are feeling deep down and work on healing your own wounds. Let me tell you here, twin flames are all about self-love and unconditional love, so that is where you will need to start.
Self-love is such a big issue for so many people, that I have made some healing tools which are available on a new website called selflovefocus.com